Work is weird (Part 2)

💻 Working Nine-to-Live ❤️

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Work is weird

You make lifelong friends

You make work acquaintances

You have mutual respect

You get on so well at work

But then you don’t see them ever again

No hard feelings whatsoever.

Work is weird

You have email rap battles

You watch the entire series of Game of Thrones at work

You book meeting rooms and watch episodes of You Bet

You laugh so hard with colleagues

Real deep belly laughter.

Work is weird

You share memes over Teams

You share chats at the watercooler

You share coffee in the mornings

You share problems

You share solutions.

Work is weird

40 hours a week with these people

You know some colleages better than your family

You make the most of it

You connect as deeply as you can.

Work is weird

You get free lunches

You get free coffees

You get free charge for your phone

You get freedom in your spare time.

Work is weird

You laugh at funny jokes

Your superiors are down to earth

You write things like “Hope you are well” and you really do care

You walk in the office door, make your morning coffee and sit at your desk

Every single day. So blessed to have a job.

Work is weird

Counting down the clock

Tick tock tick tock

off I pop

You are free to spend your evenings however you wish!

How blessed!

Work is weird

You’re free to leave at any time

The world is your oyster

If you do decide to leave your job

There are new strangers to make friends with in the next!

Work is weird

You have sweets and cake to share just because

You share how great your weekend away was

You come in on a Monday, refreshed

You are gainfully employed, and that is the best!

Work is weird

You are free to leave at any time

You can always upskill and get a better job

You can leave to become self employed

You can leave to become whatever you wish

You have the choice, only you can do it for you.

Work is weird

You get home from work

Loved ones greet you

You have a warm delicious meal

The world is your Oyster!

Work is weird

P.S.

Here’s the real life email rap battle…

Da lyf of a content admin

V: Content admins sitting in the corner,

Thinking how the Canada site can be a real scorner,

Canisters, Campaigns, Handhelds and Sticks,

Building these pages to buy some fresh kicks,

Get dem images from censhare and upload to the Dam,

My PCs slowing down, I need a bigger RAM.

My homies in content, taking on the man,

Trying to get Macs or even a Dyson fan,

Gotta go now, to bang out tickets on Jira,

Much love to my homies, welcome to the content era!!!

T: I’m gonna make you an offer you can’t refuse.

Finish your page builds, or you’re gonna lose.

I gave back the Cannoli and took up my gun.

You’ll be sleeping with the fishes by the time I’m done.

Enough of this nonsense, your PC is fine.

Keep moaning about RAM and I’ll get JD on the line.

Michael needs me right now, the family’s in trouble.

Get back to work or I’ll make you work double.

R: This is just like a binary acrostic

Doing the job and bein’ system agnostic

Consider these thoughts, my opinions, my two-pence

I couldn’t give a monkeys which side of the fence

Whether it’s mac or a pee-cee or a nokia en-gage

I need a solid laptop like a diver needs a shark cage

We’re sufferin’ from outages and endless frustration

We need better answers and a better explanation.

S: Listen up fellas, it’s all very cheesy

It’s a dumb argument between a Mac and a PC

Quit da beef now, let’s all stay alive

all we really need is a clean hard drive

The I.T tune-up, was all pretty whack

Our homie Chris Ellis has got our back

Stop the fightin’, end the grapple

The winner is… not Dell but an Apple.

R: You’ve rhymed a plural with a singular case

This school boy error is a grammar disgrace

But it’s OK to have occasional fluctuation

When abusing the placement of some; punctuation

Cases beget cleanliness, not that you’d know

As you dropped you mic when you had to go

And now it’s all sticky and covered in crumbs

And like my PC’s health check, the results are just bums.

S: You’ve dissed me too much now

You’ve made me an enemy

You look like the love-child of

Big-foot and D-Bell-a-me

Your words don’t touch me…

You smell like a turd…

Just face up to it man,

YOU’RE A BIG GRAMMER NERD.

R: Some super fresh rhymes from the lyrical Sasquatch

A word for word bad job with a soupcon of sweet botch

A stutter gun attack with ad-hoc syncopation

A one word attempt at a wordy delegation

Start from the top and give it your best shot

Your rhymes are as weak as an out-of-work despot

Shoot me back, c’mon it’s lyrically easy

Cos your beats are slow as my knackered old pc

V: Look at us? Fighting among over selves like muggles,

But at the end of the day, we’re all facing the same struggles,

Let’s unite and put this mac case forward to Chris,

Don’t get distracted with beefs and making a diss.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

🎤

I think R won that one, what do you think?

Note: Photo from Canva pro, with a little bit of magic Slartdust ⭐ and a dash of Slartificial intelligence 🤖

If you missed part 1, here it is: